The truth about Awakening
Something has to be really clear...
You need to abandon the idea that awakening is about perfecting yourself or about perfection so you can discover its only about awareness and bring into light the shadows. It is really what it's all about.
There is no "perfect" human being, but only perfectly imperfect human being. Our souls have thousands of stories, traumas, wounds, and hopes. We hold this myriad of elements inside the core of our being in all dimensions, in our conscious mind and unconscious infinite realities. So yes we will die still with many imperfections!
Also, there is no "climbing" to a higher level, in fact, there is no climbing at all. As the Franciscan mystic puts it there is only "falling" but the falling is upward... We fall and fall and fall. But in that process, we are getting closer to our Higher-self, to God, to Spirit.
You are a soul with skin on = You are human. You will fall. And you will rise. And you will fall... Your Spiritual awakening will come by totally surrendering to that truth and feeling the blessings of EACH part of the journey. So do not beat yourself if you fall.
Be aware of the fall. Feel the fall. Allow the fall. Be aware and watch it, don't judge it. And surround yourself with those who will love you in those moments and will hold a space of compassion and pure love as you will doubt your own infinite worth in those moments.
So, YES you are awakening. We ALL are awakening. At different paces, in different ways. At our OWN pace. In our OWN way. No one is awakening "better than you", because he/she is NOT you.
And NO ONE can truly heal you or save you but YOU. YOU carry the medicine you need to heal, YOU carry the shaman inside, YOU carry the God inside. YOU and only YOU will save yourself. Yes you can (and will) get support, hints, guidance, but ultimately the greatest healers are those who will patiently and lovingly hold space for you, while you do your own work.
So you can awaken with the help of Spirit. The Great Spirit. The Spirit inside of you. You can awaken from the dream, the lies, the known, the finite. Into the unknown, into the reality, into the Truth, into the infinite.
In the process, you might still swear, lie, cry, scream, be angry, be sad, be upset, be naughty, be stupid, be selfish, be self-centered, be afraid, BUT in the process, you might also still want to laugh, to dance, to sing!
So one last advice, do not take all too seriously. Call your inner child. Be filled with his JOY and laugh at your own darkness, your own shadows, your own unknowingness.
So you can be friend with ALL YOU ARE and fall, but fall upward...
Shawinigan Ungaia / The Sanctuary