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Angell Deer

Our way back home… At the heart of the jungle - Gauthereau Group

Updated: Sep 2, 2019

I am at the heart of the jungle. For a two weeks shamanic retreat. Using plant medicine and thousand years old medicine man knowledge, to explore the subconscious, dig up shadows, and heal physical and mental illness.


Some of us are new to this; some of us have already experience the power of what is called the “great Doctor”, the “great Medicine”, the “Mother Plant”. For some of us it’s almost the last call, coming with terminally ill cancer, for others the intent is to face and heal 30+ years depression, and for others it’s healing old blockages and mental traumas which have defined our life for too long. We are all coming in with faith, some fears given the difficulty and intensity of the Work ahead, but with determination and strength in what is considered a life changing experience.

I am amazed by the beauty of all the people here in their capacity to be vulnerable, and be open to face their demons, their Truth. The setup is clear as we open this retreat: The sacred space created is a hospital at the middle of the jungle.

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” ― Brené Brown

First short few hours of connection to the internet in a week to post this blog, before disconnecting to go back into total Silence. I feel the need for Silence deep inside me, as one of the great Teacher. One of the great medicine. Despite the need for sharing within the group, I am ready to dive in, and as a deep diver, I am getting my mental and my physical concentration charged. There is often an urge to talk, to engage more with others, when we feel a need of healing. Yet unless we talk with healers or teachers, people who hold this precious traditional knowledge, will we rarely be able to heal that way, to heal the depth of the problem, and not the symptom on the surface.


In many ways we are anyhow talking “too much” in our societies. We are wasting precious energy in order to be seen & heard, so we can feel the love and attention from others. Why is this "talking" a growing need in our modern society? Why is this happening despite we are more than ever connected yet more than ever running on pills? The root of the problem is FEAR. Fear which predominantly dominates the rule of the game. Fear which is often the trade money in the corporate world and the force behind the advertising & media machine. As this fear develop it creates separation between individuals, a belief of a world of danger and scarcity, and a rampant destruction of self-Love.

“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.” ― C.G. Jung

Rising social chatter, fun & extreme activities and outward engagements, try to fill unsuccessfully the self Love gap in our Heart. Unsuccessfully? Yes because true long term healing does not happen that way. As we extend our outside reach, we fill the void only temporary and numb the excruciating pain of the separation, the loneliness. We numb it, we stop seeing it, but we do not heal it. Demons and shadows stay protected and safe in our subconscious and grow stronger and wiser. None of the great majorities of social contacts and activities will heal truly what has been lacking, the need for self love, the need for self inner work, the need to dive into our true purpose. We can push back that work for a very long time, but we cannot avoid it too long without serious consequences.


The silence, the turn inward, is the Work. Yet it is scary, for all of us. Scary to face the darkness, scary to let our shadows and Ego know that they are going to die in that process… But only in the silence of our own awareness, can we know and face our shadows and fears. Only then can we challenge the monster, watch him straight in its eyes, and while being scared to death, start the true journey of healing, the journey back home, the journey to oneness, the journey to our true divine and whole self.

"We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls." - Mother Teresa

We are spiritual beings having a human experience. Not physical beings having spiritual experiences. So only when we shift this understanding of our life essence, that ultimate truth, can we start to approach life and each activity with a meaning and an intent serving our higher purpose.


But it’s a difficult task, very difficult. Yet so rewarding, so essential. Silence, deep spiritual work, reducing the engagement in most modern social activity, giving more space for the sacred to unfold, the magic to happen, can be alienating and create an apparent separation in the physical realm of Life. Apparent? Yes as that disconnection in the physical realm is only temporary and will be filled with a profound and infinite feeling of Love & oneness. Apparently also ultimately as physique quantic has proven that what we see is an illusion, starting by our physical separation with others, up to the concept of time as we understand it with a past present & future in that order.


We have to go back home. We have to climb the energetic & spiritual ladder and not the corporate ladder. We have to very seriously examine our life and it’s purpose. We have to dig out our shadows and fears. We have to heal our past traumas of this life and previous ones. We have to do all this. Not only because only by healing ourselves will humanity heal, not only because the survival of the Earth ecosystems are at stake, but because it’s the purpose of our soul, the reason of our life on Earth. And ultimately self-Love and self-Growth will only come from that great Work.

“We should not judge people by their peak of excellence; but by the distance they have traveled from the point where they started.” ― Henry Ward Beecher

Recognizing as energy beings that clarity will only emerge in the silence of our focused and healed mind, body & spirit. Recognizing that clarity is the reward of developing a deep connection to Nature and all life form, a deep connection to the oneness of Life, our oneness.


This is not a pledge to reject all aspect of social life or human contacts. But a pledge to study all those very precisely and honestly, with the lenses of our higher calling, our higher purpose, the divine that shine within all of us. Then only can we see if what we are doing is serving us, is serving our soul trajectory. Does it create expansion of energy or contraction? How does it feel deep inside? Am I adding to the noise chatter of humanity or am I healing myself and serving others? Making those distinctions is often a hard call. A life long work in progress to be able to see that clearly.


Yet without those honest but hard essential questions, will we often feel stuck in life or see life pattern repeating themselves, until we finally learn our lesson, until we can finally found our way back Home.


Are you ready to dive in? Are you ready to find your way Home?


Love & Light,


Guillaume

JULY 7, 2015 COMMENTS

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