The Love you have been looking for...
Updated: Sep 1, 2019
We search for love, in everyone we meet. In our parents. In our friends. In our partners. In an ephemeral and intoxicating twin soul.
But the place we need to find love first is, Within us. Towards us. For all we are.
For the shadows, and for the wounds. For the scars, and for the pain. For the anger, and for the scream. For the tears, and for the sobbing. For the brokenness and for the hopelessness.
But those places, we want to, Hide them. Cover them. Numb them.
Thinking the Love we will receive will be greater. Thinking the Love we will receive will be the Healer.
But yet only MY Love can heal ME.
So I resist. I look outside. I look at you and everyone. For the medicine I think you will give me, but that I forgot I always carried...
And... Until we can become our greatest love story, we will never be able to fully create a love story which is not about fixing myself with the love I receive from someone...
Using the love we receive to continue the numbing. Using the love we receive to temporarily ease the pain.
We might find love but it will be a clinging love which prevents us from evolving, which will feed our wounds, which will make us feel falsely safer, whole, happy or powerful, not because I am more me, but because I will unconsciously borrow my power from someone else... Deepening my feeling of brokenness. Feeding my demon of never enough.
We will soon discover that this Love we receive is not healing us, but is like a pill we take to feel better. That Love is our cocaine. A dark drug that looked so sweet.
We will soon be disappointed by this poor medicine as it will never reach the depth of the sorrow, of the wound, of the scar. The place where it can truly heal from.
So we need first to become our greatest love story. One that we can barely imagine, one that is so profound it will shatter the deepest belief of my brokenness. If I can reach the ecstasy of loving myself fully, I can have the orgasm for Life I have been looking for. And from that divine plane, I will finally be reunited with my beloved, Me.
When I am there, I will be able to love YOU as much as I love ME, not because I want to fix you or getting anything from you anymore, but because I will then give myself fully into giving YOU a Love that you cannot imagine.
Stop looking for a Soulmate, become the greatest mate of your soul.
Reach that divine place where you can truly say to your Self, with all your heart, and with all your soul: "I See you, and I LOVE YOU".
Fall in love with yourself, and make it your greatest love story... ❤
Shawinigan Ungaia / The Sanctuary