Today, the sky was smoky, the sun was all red, and something felt very off in the land energy. Until I realized that this was the smoke from the 600+ miles away Canadian fires.
I don't know how to feel the true scale and devastation of the millions of acres of forest burning every year across the globe. I don't even know if we are wired to feel such intensity without collapsing into deep collapse.
Intertwined with our environment, we have the ability to feel danger, stress, threat, and abnormal patterns.
What I know is Jessica, the house wren who nests every year above my bedroom window. I know her by name, by song, and by relation.
What I know is Arthur, the young walnut tree I planted a few years ago, and who will gift me his nuts in 20 years at best.
What I know is Sylvie, the green frog who lives on the 2 square foot pond where our natural spring comes out of the ground.
What I know is Spartacus, the fallen giant pine who is gifting me precious Reishi every year.
What I know are the Northwest winds who blessed our land with renewed air and blessed pollens from the North.
Only a few intimate relationships I have felt the preciousness, wildness, and fragility.
Here, we are trying to feel millions of trees, plants, animals, insects, and rocks that are annihilated. I do not know each of them. I wish I had met them before the fire took them. I wish I had given them a name and heard their story before they turned to smoke.
Yet I know, in those faraway lands, people are losing not only their homes but also relationships. Families. The web of interconnectedness is broken, burned, and swiped away. Native people had warned us. They tried to have us listen. We did not.
Maybe the many trees I plant every year won't make a difference. Maybe the names I give won't make a difference. Maybe the daily intimate relating to the 7 acres I call home won't make a difference. I do not know.
But I like to think, and more importantly, feel that each little act of connection with Jessica, Arthur, Sylvie, and Spartacus was worth living for and taught us what true belonging feels like.
At least I will keep praying with them, until our last breath, for all that is lost. Angell Deer