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Shapeshifting Pain: Becoming the Author of Your Healing Story

Do you know one of the most powerful ways to heal ourselves? Changing the old distorted narrative of our own stories and not writing from the broken world narrative.


One of the most difficult books to write is the one where we can weave words of authentic love into our pain and often transform our own demons into angelic beings. The book where we understand that the illusory and egotistic quest of self-healing will always have to include "the others" to end in true Earth nirvana.


As authors of our own narrative, mending our spirit is akin to reconciling with our anguish, accepting our shadowy facets, and triumphing over life’s hurdles.



Similarly to how twilight gracefully gives way to the dawn, our tribulations, and hardships set the stage for self-discovery, empowerment, and awakening. By directing our attention and empathy towards our suffering, we shape them from enemies into allies, paving the way toward our personal transformation and awakening.


Shamanism saved my life many times. My elders and teachers of all realms gave me access to pearls of long-lost wisdom. They all gave me a different way to approach my turmoils, my pain, and the world's struggles. They finally gave meaning to what seems unsolvable in our broken world.


Why? Because it emphasizes the power of honest prayers, ancestral ties, ancient rituals & ceremonies, plants, animals & trees allies, the whisper of the ancient ones, and access to the natural synergies in the healing journey.


I discovered it was possible to seed & harvest in alliance with cosmic forces while deliberately surrendering to a force that blows delicious sparks of stars into my soul.


Prayers spring forth from our hearts as though they were untainted frequencies, provoking responses from the cosmos. The echos of our prayers are unmeasurable and yet sometimes so clearly manifested.


Paying homage to our ancestors helps tether us to the timeless wisdom handed down through generations, offering us anchor in the stormy seas of distress. And a reminder we are the walking and alive prayers of their deepest desires.


By harmonizing with nature, we reconnect with the kernel of existence, given that we are born of and destined to return to the earth. If we don't fervently strive for this connection, we risk a perpetual feeling of exile and persistent agony as the mystical umbilical cord with our ancient mother can never be untethered.


Yet the wounds we carry deeply protected inside of us might be the scariest but also the deepest bridge of opportunities back into our wholeness and ultimate transformation as individuals and collective. Even harder to do in a world where the wounded are isolated, rejected, shamed, numbed, and violently killed.


At first, our wounds reside on the other side of a gorge that we are too trepidacious to traverse. Making the brave decision to bridge the gap between us and our pain is what sparks the healing process. This harmonization - this communion with pain - isn't about amalgamating our being with the wound, but recognizing it as a relic from our past and acknowledging the wisdom it carries. It's an essential phase toward our metamorphosis.


Contrary to age-old preconceptions, genuine healing isn't about eliminating our wounds but integrating them into our new story. Making them the seed of a new life, a new strong foundation for the house of our magical soul.


They serve as the lighthouse on the red road, a testament to our capacity to regenerate even stronger from our individual and collective ruins. Just as the phoenix symbolizes resurgence from its own ashes, we too can uncover within our most profound injuries the spark that propels our rise to a brighter, truer, and healed iteration of ourselves.


Healing, thus, isn't about warding off the darkness but letting it guide us toward the dawn of personal realization and integration. It is not anymore a fight but a skilled dance with this daunting darkness that wishes so deeply to be seen, heard, loved, included, and transmuted.


It is the hardest and probably the most beautiful story of our lives in a world that attempts to negate it at every turn.


Angell Deer

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